Introduction To My Story

I guess to start it should be at the beginning before I had children. I grew up in a small town and pursued a career in Early Childhood Education. I worked in a non profit childcare center in 1994. It was rough at times going to school nights and working days. It was worth it. In 1998 I decided I needed a new challenge a change of scenery. I loved the kids but I was still young and over 18! I joined the Navy in 1998. What an adventure from boot camp to being stationed overseas in Italy. I loved Italy and met many people, but i always missed home and my family. In the summer of 1999 I met a guy named Vern. Our first meeting was not a love at first sight moment. Vern was quiet I thought great I bet he is married with kids I should run now!!! Well it turned out he wasn't married and had no kids. I re-met him one night when I was at a local navy hang out. We talked , he was very funny, kind of cute, and had a great personality. I gave him a chance and I took a chance getting to know him better. We started going out on a steady basis. In April of 2001 he asked me to marry him, I said yes and I thought life can't get any better. Well in all the engagement celebrating little did I know what had happened. A month later I found out I was pregnant. It took me for a loop. I figured all that time on the ocean was just motion sickness. Well we had to speed up the wedding, I was sent back to the states. We got married in November of 2001. In January 2002, my daughter was born. What a moment. I thought well I have a degree in early childhood education this should not be too hard. Well when it is your own child education goes out the window. I was so lucky that my daughter was easy going and a adapted well to any situation. In September 2003 my husband finally came back from overseas. It was great having him home, my daughter took to him and loved being with her dad. She was probably sick of mommy in her face. I decided then why not go back to work, it would be good for my daughter to interact with other children, and I can make some extra money. I interviewed and was offered a job at a church run day care. Right before I was set to start, bam I found out I was pregnant again. I was excited, and a bit worried. The last pregnancy turned out to be high risk. So I turned down the job and concentrated on being pregnant. On August 7,2003 my son Tyler was born by c-section. He was not as easy going as his sister. He was the total opposite, colicky, he had a hard time soothing himself. To get sleep we resorted to swinging him in his swing. He never slept at night. We were told by his doctors he will grow out of it. It is just the age and stage. Well by 3 and half we enrolled him in daycare, thinking it would help his social skills. He cried a lot, we were always called to go get him. We stuck it out, and by age 4 and half we called for a doctor appointment again. Thank goodness. The doctor we saw took his behavior and and history seriously. He gave us a psych referral. He first saw one social worker and child psych doc who diagnosed him with ADHD, and Early onset childhood Bi-Polar disorder. We were given meds for him which helped him focus and cut down on the melt downs. Well the anti depressant the doctor gave him, made him eat and eat and he gained too much weight, that I asked for him to be taken off it. Well he started kindergarten and did really well with the meds and he was able to concentrate on his school work. Fist grade came and we started the year off good. He was upset when his good friend moved out and he went downhill. The meltdowns started getting worse. The meds were constantly being adjusted. In april he was looking forward to spring vacation. Spring break was no break for him. He started off the first day having a meltdown. He exhibited behavior we had never seen. He got very angry and in his fir of seeing red, he pulled a knife on his sister and her friends. Before folks rush to judgement, let me start this story at the beginning. After my daughter had her friend over, who lived right behind our house. We all went to walk her home, me my son, my daughter, her friend, and my other son who was a baby still. Well because his little brother was walking we didn't bother putting him in the stroller. We dropped off my daughter's friend, I was talking to her mom. Nothing out of the unusual. My daughter said her friend forgot a few things could they go back to my house and get it. I said yes, and then my middle son with the issues said he wanted to go home. I said good bye and was right behind the kids. Well having a slow toddler in tow left me behind the kids who got to the back gate before me. They all went in and when I got back to the patio door, it was no less than two minutes after they walked in. In that short span of time, my son got mad at my daughter's friend for taking a toy he wanted, he got so enraged he ran downstairs to my kitchen locked the door and grabbed a knife. He then threatened the girls and thankfully my daughter at the time had sense enough to lock herself and friend in the room. I was calling my daughter's cell phone and about to break a window to get in. I finally got my daughter on her phone, and I told her to yell through the door to her brother, that I needed to be let into the house. Somehow it snapped him out of his anger, and he ran back downstairs put the knife away and let me in. I checked on the kids, and called my friend who immediatley came over and took my daughter, and hers, and my baby to her house. I called 911. The officer came out and I explained what my son had done, and he suggested taking him to a ER. So no charges were filed not even a report. He said because of his age it was best to take him to the hospital. His age at the time was 6 years old. We went to the hospital, and he was given a security guard to watch him , we met with the chid Psych doctor on call. He then said given the severity of his behavior he wanted him admitted to the nearest Child Psych Hospital. So I made the tough choice to have him admitted. Not only is it the hardest thing to do, I felt like the meanest mom in the world. My son had calmed down and wanted to go home. If I hadn't agreed the doctor would have had the court agree to admitt him. I was able to follow the ambulance to the next hospital. I did all the paperwork, and met the night staff. They gave him a snack and got him ready for bed because it was very late. i left him there and he wasn't crying more like shocked. In the meantime while this all happened my husband was out to sea. He is a Navy sailor. My friend had got a message to his ship and with the chaplains help he was flown off the next day. He was not happy with me at all. Over the phone he was calm about it, but once I picked him up he let me have it. I told him there was no other choice, that obviously a six year old weilding a knife is not normal. We went to the hospital and met with the doctor who was trying him on a new medicine regimen. We got to see our son and he was very sorry, and liked the food at the hospital. He was also proud of the fact that he learned how to make his bed, fold his clothes, and play basketball. Sounded like camp to me. In the end on a good note he had a new diagnosis. ADHD/ODD, oppositional defiant disorder. The doctor explained it as inside his brain he is not wired right and he short circuited. Before he came home I read up on this ODD. Every book described my son to a "T". We learned new discipline techniques and parenting strategies. When we left we were able to get a referral to see the ER child Psych doc who saw my son. We have been with him since then. He truly listens to our concerns, questions, and when my son is heading to the red zone he will see him at a moments notice. My son is 9 and half now, in the fourth grade and though he still challenges us we are able to discipline him with out him going over the edge. He still has his moments of anger and meltdowns, we just know his signs that he is heading for the red. Mainly we still love him and encourage him to try his best. Not everyday is rosey, but the good days are good and we cherish them. Because the next day could be a challenging day.